Like other functions of our body, Sex is a normal process. As other functions, like for example, the digestion, can be upset by factors like a bad mood, stress or similar such things, so can the sexual function be disturbed by a whole lot of factors. These may not necessarily involve the anatomy but instead it’s the mind, which makes the difference.

Like other functions sex should be allowed naturally, in a relaxed way, our bodies will respond normally without any conscious effort on our part. It should be performed normally without any mental strain.

There are various types of problem or situations that can upset the normal sexual responsiveness, most of them, fortunately, can be helped in a positive manner by understanding on our part. Here are a few tips for you to avoid fear at the time of doing sex and to improve:

• Misunderstanding and/or lack of information about sex :

Its indeed one of the most telling ironies that Sex, despite being one of the most commonly discussed topic in our lives and in the media, there is a surprising lack of correct information about ‘What to Expect and How to Act’.

Those images of the ‘Perfect Macho Man and The Perfect Sensual Woman’ on the TV and in the Magazines make us feel that Sex instead of being a perfectly normal natural and enjoyable thing, is an ‘Act to be Performed to Perfection’. All this does it to add to the confusion and leads to unrealistic fears, expectations and fantasies.

• Bad feelings about Sex and its consequences -

1. Fear of pregnancy; Fear of pain; Fear of being caught/ heard/ or interrupted.

2. Performance Anxiety- Fear of failing to perform well.

3. Fear of losing control (during orgasm) and /or becoming vulnerable.

4. Looking unattractive during the climax.

5. Bad feelings about yourself or your body like, feeling that the body is unattractive. Feelings that I am not successful (low self-esteem).

6. Problems in relationship –
Anger/resentment against the partner should be resolved as it can decrease the performance and pleasure while having sex.

7. Unsuitable circumstances –
While a ‘Quickie’ sometimes can be fun! But normally Good Sex requires a relaxed mind and body. Too much of a hurry, tiredness or preoccupation can rob you of the pleasures of Sex.

8. Performance anxiety –
This is one of the most significant problems in the way of Good Sex. We often forget that Sex is something that comes naturally to all of us, instead, we seem to view ourselves as performers who have to complete an act to perfection.

9. Spectator role –
Quite often we start observing ourselves as an audience, instead of really participating in it. – We observe ourselves ‘doing the act’, as if on stage (now coming, now coming...., so again it doesn't,...I knew it…etc.).